Noisemaker's freaky golf club rip-off!
The weather was perfect Sunday morning. Schedules had shifted just enough to permit a quiet nine-hole spring primer round. Life is good!
I nailed a crisp nine iron pin high just left of the flag stick on the third hole. My opponent is about 30 feet in front. I grab the cart and head for the green. Once parked, I grab both putters from the bags and stroll over to the green. I miss the birdie by inches but I'm charged up and ready for the next hole.
Amidst some friendly banter I raise my arm to replace the putter in the bag. But there is no bag! My friend's bag is there but mine is gone... like vapor!
"What the F__k happened?" ...is my opponent's knee jerk reaction. We look around, but all is quiet. It's 10:00 AM, Sunday morning and my golf bag has been stolen right off of the back of the cart on the third hole.
Now if your weekend golfing ritual is anything like mine, then you're beginning to get the bigger picture here. Your bag is your personal locker adorned with plushy pockets for your assorted valuables. In my case... my wallet, watch, car keys and cell phone! Now let that little nugget of bad news sink in a bit.
We hi-tale it back to the pro-shop to call the police. I phone my wife who graciously and immediately cancels every one of my credit cards. I have a lively conversation with Officer Scott who regrettably advises me not to expect too much in terms of finding my stuff. FINE!
As it stands, my round of golf is over. I'm now mentally shifting my attention to my enormous lack of identity. I have no driver's license, credit cards, cash or insurance info. I have no car keys, house key or office keys. My watch is gone and my cell phone, with every important phone number, is history! It's not that everything can't be replaced, but when the impact of that notion initially takes hold, it can bring anyone's bright and shiny world to a grinding halt!
The week ahead proves to be a tricky and unexpected series of phone messages, call backs and one creepy visit to the DMV (The Dept. of Motor Vehicles). At present, my identity issues are nearly fully reinstalled. It's been one hell of an inconvenient process, but ultimately very doable.
And then there is the situation of the golf clubs. I will be completely retooling, which is an exciting thought, but my recently increased homeowners deductible dictates that I'll be digging deep into my own pocket for the whole shootin-match!
So lets hear it... all ye faithful golfnoise readers. I'm looking for any and all suggestions. Tell me about your favorite clubs, bags, drivers, wedges, rescue clubs, ditty bags and rain gear. I'm dropping the mother load!
And stay tuned, cause I'm going to lean into the general manager of the golf club to see if they're interested in doing noisemaker a solid!
noisemaker
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p.s. oh yea, don't forget to get a new bag homeboy.
Truth be known... This particular neighborhood is quite a ways from Low Rentsville. The attached home development clocks in at around a 750K sniffing fee with rumors of a few cherries approaching the 2 million mark. So there's plenty of dough spread throughout.
I maintain, as does the property management, that this heist was a fluke! A once in a lifetime caper. I'm counting on it. Stay tuned as I carefully maneuver a fresh compliment of weaponry through the friendly pro shop at a deeply discounted cash outlay.
And rest assured... there will be additional posts!