Hottest golf day of the year

I decided to sneak in a quick nine hole round earlier this week. I wasn't able to get out last weekend so I gave myself some time off work for a relaxing nine holes ...or so I thought.

For the record, I knew it was supposed to be hot. I didn't care. It was to be a Tuesday morning cakewalk. No worries.

The first sign of trouble was when the pro shop guy gave me a second look when I casually mentioned that we would be walking. "This is supposed to be the hottest day of the year," he said. "Are you sure?" And without skipping a beat, I responded "Of course."

What a wise-ass I was.

I began the day on the practice range for that all-important warm-up. And it didn't take much. Before my 25 range balls were gone, I was soaked.

The first few holes went pretty much as expected. We joked that it was a bit toasty, but that was just the beginning of discussion of the weather.

On the fourth tee box a kindhearted marshal drove up with a bucket full of icy cold towelets. It was a startling sensation on our faces. I mentioned that now we'll need to acclimate to the heat all over again.

This particular tee box seemed hotter than the previous ones. Is that possible? The sun was straight overhead. I could feel the intense humidity steaming up out of the grass. Heavy and dead air. There was no breeze so the profuse sweating just felt like you were wearing a hot and heavy wet rag.

I felt that same dead air sensation again on the green. Steamy hot heat, no breeze. We've just got to keep moving, I thought.

By the seventh hole I mentioned to my buddy that I never realized how little shade there was on this course. We guzzled loads of water from the course provided coolers. I must have refilled my own water bottle ten times by then.

We finished number eight and I could feel myself wanting to move quickly to the ninth tee. I had lost interest in the game. Both drives found the left rough but I didn't much care. I couldn't help thinking we were just that much closer to the end. My approach shot fell just short of the elevated ninth green. I chipped close and holed out for par. My partner finished and we began the long walk back to the clubhouse.

There was a brief discussion, with a chuckle, about finishing the full eighteen. We both required immediate respite from the oven-like temperatures.

I made it to the clubhouse and plopped down into one the four cushy chairs in the air conditioned lobby. My heart was racing and my skin was tingling. I was a bit light headed. Hmmm... Exactly what are the real symptoms of heat exhaustion?

I found my way into the locker room and splashed some water on my face. I was beginning to feel normal again.

We stepped up to the snack bar looking like a couple of drowned rats and proceeded to order a couple of Gatorades over large cups of ice. The twenty-something waitress said, "Hot enough for ya today?" To which I replied "Oh yeah ...and what a day to walk!" She looked up at my flushed face and said, "So you're the ones."

As you can see, this experience wasn't really much about golf. There was no mention of brilliant tee shots, hail Mary putts or miracle up and down sandies! I'm not even sure what my final score was.

It was just HOT! Really really HOT!